Today, I went writing in my favorite cafe in Forest Hills. Now I know what you think. You think that people who write in cafes are just pretentious posers. But the truth is, that’s only half the reason I write in cafes. The other half of the reason is that I MUST ESCAPE THE COMFORTS AND DISTRACTIONS OF MY HOME. I am infinitely more productive sitting on an uncomfortable chair, being served sumptuous treats while I write. Tragically, today, the distractions followed me, taunted me, even. When I arrived at the cafe to find this taped to the telephone pole outside:
Serious calls only, please, people.